Last night was a weird night... I got up at 3am and wanted to puke me guts out. I didn't...but I wanted too. Is it weird that I was so happy? I never thought in a million years that I would enjoy that feeling. It was such a sign of hope, that I truly excited me. Now, I know that just because I wanted to puke last night, doesn't mean that I am prego... I wish that was all it took but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. I am excited to go to bed tonight to see if it happens again. I know...crazy.
I think I have learned a lot about myself last night, while sitting on a towel in the bathroom at 3am. I learned that I have the faith that will get me through this time of anxiousness. I am excited that I know that through my faith I can achieve anything!
I don't think I mentioned before that I am LDS (Latter-Day Saint aka Mormon) but I am, and I love it. I received a blessing last night from my amazing husband that said that I was on the right path, and my desires are in line with Heavenly Fathers plan. I have to be patient... which just happens to me my weakest link.
I am supposed to get my period on the 21st...which happens to be my 3 year Anniversary to my lovely husband. I hope it doesn't come... Although even if it doesn't it still doesn't mean I am out of the clear. You see I have had 3 periods in the last year... It's a big part of my condition called PCOS. Since my eggs are turning into cysts, there is no need to have a period. The thing about it, and why I haven't stopped trying to get pregnant, is that I know that if Heavenly Father wanted to remove those cysts...whats stopping him? I mean ultimately He has the final say right? If I am supposed to be pregnant then I will.
I was sitting next to a pregnant woman last week, and I saw her baby kick. It was amazing. I love to see such miracles like that one. I am excited for the day that that is me... but until then I am Still Trying...
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