I don't know if anyone does this or not but I tend to go to those site like, baby zone or baby center and find out what my potential due date would be if I by some miracle was pregnant. Boy, let me tell you I have had a lot of due dates. My latest one is September 30th 2009. It's so funny because it has a calender that tells you what should be going one right now... I like to look at it because even though I am not pregnant I still like to have those thoughts in my head... A heart beat could be forming in my stomach. It's an amazing thought.
I believe in miracles. I do, I believe that everything happens for a reason. I know that if I had not been trying to get pregnant these past few...I mean many months I would have never found out that I have PCOS. That would have been bad. I refuse to believe that because I have this condition I won't get pregnant soon. I am taking steps to make sure I am getting healthy. I should be taking more and each day I do. I am planning on losing some weight, and eating better.
I know I am totally going to sound like I am blaming my parents for something that I can control but, I feel like my parents ruined my eating habits. I grew up eating fast food and donuts. Until a few years ago I didn't like food I had never tried. I am changing that. I like some kinds of Chicken now! That's huge! I am working on trying to like normal foods...like fresh stuff. haha.
I know that I am the only person that can change my life, but doesn't anyone ever feel like it is some how out of your control sometimes? Doesn't anyone feel like you just need someone else to make your choices because you have a sick feeling like you will screw it up? I do. I feel like I can't seem to get control of myself. I am not a very good listener when I am talking. Does that not makes sense? I don't think it is supposed to.
I know this is all stuff that we are supposed to figure out on our own... I just wish someone could answer for me. Take responsibility for my actions. I don't want to grow up... but I do. I want to act like an adult. More then I even know. I want to be more then what I am now. I want to teach my children how to be more then they are that day. To strive to be more... what ever that means. I want a baby. Everything I get on a trip about always ends up with what I started with.
I want to be pregnant.... Still Trying...
I believe in miracles. I do, I believe that everything happens for a reason. I know that if I had not been trying to get pregnant these past few...I mean many months I would have never found out that I have PCOS. That would have been bad. I refuse to believe that because I have this condition I won't get pregnant soon. I am taking steps to make sure I am getting healthy. I should be taking more and each day I do. I am planning on losing some weight, and eating better.
I know I am totally going to sound like I am blaming my parents for something that I can control but, I feel like my parents ruined my eating habits. I grew up eating fast food and donuts. Until a few years ago I didn't like food I had never tried. I am changing that. I like some kinds of Chicken now! That's huge! I am working on trying to like normal foods...like fresh stuff. haha.
I know that I am the only person that can change my life, but doesn't anyone ever feel like it is some how out of your control sometimes? Doesn't anyone feel like you just need someone else to make your choices because you have a sick feeling like you will screw it up? I do. I feel like I can't seem to get control of myself. I am not a very good listener when I am talking. Does that not makes sense? I don't think it is supposed to.
I know this is all stuff that we are supposed to figure out on our own... I just wish someone could answer for me. Take responsibility for my actions. I don't want to grow up... but I do. I want to act like an adult. More then I even know. I want to be more then what I am now. I want to teach my children how to be more then they are that day. To strive to be more... what ever that means. I want a baby. Everything I get on a trip about always ends up with what I started with.
I want to be pregnant.... Still Trying...
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